Jewish Haiku

Diane Joy Schmidt ~ December 21, 2015

Jewish Haiku
Beyond Valium,
peace is knowing one's child
is an internist.

On Passover we
opened the door for Elijah.
Now our dog is gone.
After the warm rain
the sweet smell of camellias.
Did you wipe your feet?

Today I am a man
Tomorrow I will return
to the seventh grade.

Jews on safari --
map, compass, elephant
gun, hard sucking candies.

The same kimono
the top geishas are wearing:
I got it at Loehmann's.

Sorry I'm not home
to take your call. At the tone
please state your bad news.

Is one Nobel Prize
so much to ask from a child
after all I've done?

Today, mild shvitzing.
Tomorrow, so hot you'll plotz
Five-day forecast: feh

Yenta. Shmeer. Gevalt.
Shlemiel. Shlimazl. Meshuganah
Oy! To be fluent!

A lovely nose ring,
excuse me while I put my
head in the oven.

Hard to tell under the lights.
White Yarmulke or
male-pattern baldness.

Diane Joy Schmidt

Diane Joy Schmidt is a regular correspondent and columnist for the New Mexico Jewish eLink, the Gallup Independent, and most recently, New Mexico correspondent for the Intermountain Jewish News.

She grew up on Chicago's North Shore in the traditions of Reform Judaism, is anchored by her memories of the fireflies at Union Institute camp and the Big Dipper over Lake Michigan, and is an admirer of all things spiritually resonant.

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